Obstacles

Sometimes, we meet an obstacle (or several obstacles) on our way to achieving our goals.

Sometimes, we cause the obstacles.

We think that we aren’t worthy of achieving our goal, so we self-sabotage our efforts.  For instance, why do I deserve such a high bonus?

Sometimes, we create an obstacle because we are fearful of the changes associated with meeting our goal.   For instance, how will others perceive me if I weigh less?

Sometimes, we get fatigued, and create a problem so that we have an excuse to give up.   For instance, if work gets busy, how many of us will give up on taking the time to pursue the relationship that we have always dreamed of having?

 

When Others Create Obstacles for Us

Other times, we aren’t the ones creating the roadblocks on the road to our goals;  instead, other people are creating difficulties for us.

Some of these people are intentionally creating obstacles for us; they are purposely and transparently sabotaging our path to achieving our goals because they don’t want us to be successful.  They don’t want us to make more money, be thinner, or be happier.    They intentionally try to try to knock us down.

Most often, these people are trying to derail your goals because they are afraid that your new goals will cause you to move further away from them.

Other times, people cause unintentional damage to your efforts; they really don’t mean to impede your efforts, they simply don’t understand your situation.   Or, maybe they just don’t understand you.     Sometimes, they aren’t even aware that they are causing harm.   (In fact, sometimes the people who derail you are the same people who feel that they are helping you.

Regardless of how it happen; it does happen, and it is real.

For instance:

• Is your spouse discouraging you from pursuing another career, telling you that more job responsibilities will cause you unnecessary stress?
• Are your friends telling you that you shouldn’t leave an unhappy relationship, because you won’t be able to manage on your own?
• Are your co-workers trying to dissuade you from returning to school, saying that it will take too long, cost too much money, or be too difficult?
• Is your partner telling you that you don’t need to pay down your bills, because a “little bit of debt” can’t be that problematic?

Others have an Impact

Unfortunately, the words and actions of others can often impact many of us.

Furthermore, if you are like me, other people’s negative words and actions sometimes have a damaging impact on you.

Sometimes, the influence of others is so strong for some people in certain situations, that they cause us to change our path.  As a result, we may be settling for less than we want or deserve.

We Deserve a Great Life

We all deserve to have a great life.

Personally, I believe that we are not in this world to be miserable.  While there are unhappy events that happen in all our lives, we should all do our best to create the best life that we can.

In other words, we don’t have to be passive bystanders in our own life.  We can work to create the life that we want and deserve.

Granted, there are some things beyond our control.   We can’t plan and control everything.

For instance, we can’t control the thoughts and actions of others.

We can only control our own thoughts and actions.

We Can’t Change Others

I am sure that most of us have hoped and/or tried to change other people.   (For instance, think back to that high school/college flame that you tried to change.)

However, the reality is that we can’t control what other people say or do.

We can’t make our friends understand that we are not fulfilled in our current job.

We can’t make our partner realize that the “little bit of debt” is causing a lot of daily angst.

We can’t make our family members realize that our current situation is causing us to become less energetic and “alive” each day.

We can’t make our last partner realize that he/she just let go of the best mate they could have ever dreamed of having in their lives.

In other words, we can’t control the thoughts and actions of others.

But, we do have control of something;  we can control our own actions.

 

Things to Remember

When you face an obstacle created by someone else, you have to constantly remind yourself that you can only change you.

So don’t waste your time or energy trying to change someone else.   If they don’t want to change, your best option is to let them be.

Unfortunately, this advice is not always easy.

It is often difficult to keep the actions and comments of others from “renting unnecessary” space in your head.  

Therefore,  you sometimes have to stay out of the “energy” of these people and remember the following thoughts.

1. You are capable of creating the life that you desire.
2. You are worthy of of creating the life that you dream about.
3. You do not have to react to the words or actions of others.  Those words and actions are owned by them, not you.
4. Your potential is amazing.
5. Your thoughts and feelings have value.
6. We should NEVER settle for less than we want or deserve.